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Why I love being born as a WOMAN……………

January 9, 2009

Absolutely HAD to write this post after reading what IHM wrote……..

Read the awesome and very thought provoking post HERE..

You always make me think IHM….when I was a lurker and now when I am a follower….

Felt so angry and helpless….these are issues that may seem small…but they speak of a mindset thats deeply ingrained…..
(This is not about males as such….I know and have known some absolutely beautiful,liberal souls ….males who are amazing.No,this is for those who think women are supposed to ‘be ‘ a certain way,look like this,cook,stay at home, etc..etc..………….This is for those men ……

For all those ‘MEN ‘who ask why women should do certain tasks that are for males?Why seek equality with men?Why should they work?If they work,thats their choice,they HAVE to look after the kids/take care of the house/cook/etc..etc….Why?Why?Why?…I could go on and on…
For all the men who ‘think’ like this…

Let me give you just a few of the many,many reasons why we love being born as a WOMAN and how proud we are to be one……

The way we instinctively know when a loved one is hurting……..Do you know how to?

The way we have a conversation sometimes without a word being spoken………Learn the language from us….

We,who enjoy the rhythms of our body and are at peace with the rise and the falls,the cycles,the seasons,glorying in it……..Learn how to take pride in your body from us….

The way we are emotionally tuned to others around us……..Learn how to tune in…

We tell things as they are,if only you ask……..………Give us total honesty too………

Some of us have lived many lifetimes in a single one……..Ask us to share……….

We are all women,all sisters under the skin…….….Would you like to join the family too?

We have been hurt countless times and yet we still stand…..Learn courage from us…

We have a heart that’s tender and compassionate….Imbibe some of that too…..

We can stand in front of a moving bus to protect the heart of our heart….Can you?

We can acknowledge the past that scarred us,forgive you and move on….Can you do that?

We don’t always rely on cold hard facts,we trust our INSTINCTS more…Why don’t you?

We have been healed, we can heal ,we can teach you how to heal too…….all with words and ..gestures …that too…..Come learn it from us……..

Even when our bodies have been forced, we have never surrendered our souls….…NEVER……..Why do you sell it so easily?….

We ,who sometimes forget where we came from, then our sisters remind us…Do you have such who are your own?…..

We can look at a face and see beyond the surface to the soul…..When will you?…

We ‘know’ when a soul’s black despite the outer polish….Take that knowledge from us……..

We read the ‘romance novels ‘ that you make such fun of….. Yet we learn more from them about love,honesty, eternal hope,human relationships,of what could be and what is, and happily ever afters ..than you ever can from the cold hard politics of your world……..

Reading ‘romance novels’ does not mean we don’t understand a Kafka ,Steinbeck or Tagore…………We do, but you never ask…………

Even when you think it is you who is the most loved, we secretly love the women in our life the most………The ones who are a reflection of us,because they have journeyed or will journey through the same roads…..….mothers,daughters,mother-in-laws-daughter-in-laws-friends……….

We, who can light up an entire room with our smile,a smile that comes when we are happy……Will you let us be?

We listen to what our heart tells us, to our needs and meet them with tenderness…..When will you stop denying yours?

We can cry tears over a loved one, a sentimental movie or simply a beautiful day and revel in it because we believe tears cleanse the soul……..When will you stop being afraid of tears?

We are never afraid of challenges,no matter what you believe or say………..Test our limits and watch us prove you wrong…………

We can run a multi corporation, talk on the phone, cook for a loved one, recognize your needs, comfort friends, keep in touch with our past life,,raise our children…and yet we never miss a single moment of their lives………….How is it you can never remember which flowers we like?When’s our birthday?….Or What we want?

We revel in colours,we can wear pink and make it look good,we love all the colours in nature…….Why is it that you are so afraid of colours ,of experimenting?….You whose species Mother nature has endowed with such bright plumages……thick manes……..glorious colours?

We love getting compliments ,and giving them too because we know compliments are nourishment for the soul……..Learn the art from us…..

Sometimes we dress up for ourselves,just because we ARE……………and isn’t that reason enough?………Don’t think it’s all about you….

We can play with little dolls…AND with tanks and planes……..Why won’t you let your daughters and sons have a choice too?

We have something called intuition that you scoff at………..Then why is it that you believe it when animals run or hide during disasters as a ‘scientific evidence’?:)

We are the conscience of this world,its soul at times …because we have a stake in it,we don’t want to bring new lives into a world of strife……Then why is it that you don’t think twice before doing something rash?

We think ‘Honour’ means a life well lived,a life of dignity and pride,honesty and love……..Then why did you attach this word to us?When did we come to mean ‘Honour’?Can raping women avenge someone’s ‘HONOUR’?

You laugh at ‘shopping addictions’ and ‘expeditions’………….But it’s better than what you do… attacking neighbours,looting ,declaring fatwas,banning skirts and jeans…..

We don’t judge according to age or gender….because we believe knowledge comes in all shapes and sizes..that sometimes the new entrants to our world show us what we had never seen before…we live through our sisters but most of all our daughters ,hoping and praying they will go even farther and higher than us………..
Then why do you judge us according to GENDER ????

We were the ones who brought life into this world….who nurtured it….Then why does being a CEO of some bigshot company matter more than us,’mere housewives/stay at home mothers/working mothers(WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY?)..’…terms that you saddled us with??
If roles had been reversed and you had been the ‘life givers’ would you ever let us forget it??

Why do you object to our joining combat units?Are you not sure of your own kind?Are we once again your ‘honour’?

We are not striving to be your equals,we have set the bar much higher….we have our own goals that only we can see………..So stop thinking everything’s about you…

We may know how to cook,we may not,we may paint our toenails,put perfume and be a wrestler all at once …..What does that have to do with anything?
We just ARE.Women who are a part of this world,our world and your world………So don’t judge us by such petty standards…

We CAN be mothers or wives or working or stay at home if we CHOOSE to do so……But don’t tell us what our choices are…

We know there’s always a little boy inside you……Please understand there’s always a little girl inside of us too …even when we turn 80…

Don’t be such hypocrites….Worship the ‘devis’Kali,Durga and all…..trek to Vaishno Devi for her ‘blessings’…AND kill little unborn females…..all in the same breath….

Don’t put us on pedestals or treat us like dirt….Just treat us like human beings….

Don’t distort body image and define what’s ‘sexy’ or ‘beautiful’ for us by what’s on your walls and in your fantasies…..It’s our body and WE are happy with what we are born with ….curves or no curves….

We can sometimes say more in a sigh than you can say in an hour….Learn to understand them….
We can bandage wounds with tenderness….and we can kill savagely for a loved one……..remember our power….

What WE WOMEN have to learn is to put ourselves first,to hit back when its required, to learn that it’s okay to make demands ,that we are not less of a woman or more of one if we do or don’t do certain things….and most of all WE Have to learn to never lose our IDENTITY…….Daughter…wife…mother…married…unmarried….CEO….homemaker……literate…illiterate….BUT first and foremost ..

JUST A WOMAN…infact ‘A WOMAN’…..

NOTHING MORE ….NOTHING LESS………

And read Maya Angelou’s ‘Still I Rise’, an amazing poem here.

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18 Comments leave one →
  1. Indian Home Maker permalink
    January 10, 2009 7:31 am

    “We are not striving to be your equals,we have set the bar much higher….we have our own goals that only we can see………..So stop thinking everything’s about you…” is just one of the lines I love here.

    And then I reach here,
    (This is not about males as such….I know and have known some absolutely beautiful,liberal souls ….males who are amazing.No,this is for those who think women are supposed to ‘be ‘ a certain way,look like this,cook,stay at home, etc..etc..”

    I agree again 🙂

  2. Indyeah permalink
    January 10, 2009 8:00 am

    IHM:-Thanks IHM..as always..you encourage…:)so much..

    This might seem crazy but believing in myself has always been a problem for me…accepting compliments,finding fault with how I look…how i think ,write et al…and this despite NOT coming from a dysfunctional/crazy family..:D(a psychologist would have a field day with this one..:))every little thing…and thats why discovering blogging has been such a boon…I can pour out feelings I didn’t even know I had…:)

    and have moved the relevant parts to the top of the post…so people know why I am ranting and against whom…:)

  3. That Subtle Something... permalink
    January 11, 2009 10:26 pm

    Had the time to read all your posts leisurely. Loved them all a lot….. especially this ,”Life lessons from the wisest one”. Awaiting your next post…

  4. Indyeah permalink
    January 12, 2009 12:43 am

    That Subtle Something:-awwww!am feeling all mushy now…thank you so much..:)yeah I like that one too…:)…added cartoons to cathy thorne’s post..check them out…and visit her website..its cute and funny and real too..:)

  5. Kislay permalink
    January 12, 2009 7:07 am

    Absolutely Brilliant Post . It should be published , for the benefit of the others .

    “Don’t be such hypocrites….Worship the ‘devis’Kali,Durga and all…..trek to Vaishno Devi for her ‘blessings’…AND kill little unborn females…..all in the same breath…”

    Absolutely true . We worship , and rape , we revere , and we burn . As a fellow blogger , Alankrita puts it , the Goddess-whore dichotomy .

    You are on my blogroll now 🙂

  6. Ashwini Kumar permalink
    January 12, 2009 6:36 pm

    i just love reading your blog. And Dinkar is brilliant.

  7. Indyeah permalink
    January 13, 2009 2:35 am

    Kis;ay:-Thanks for the compliment Kislay!:)and yes, the goddess -whore dichotomy best describes it….
    thanks for adding me on your blogroll…:)..been trying to get ‘Orange ‘ on mine but it just doesn’t seem to work….:(..will keep trying…

    Ashvini:-Thank you :)..its nice knowing that you like reading my blog…:)and yes,I agree Dinkar was a genius..

  8. January 14, 2009 8:54 am

    WOW !! , Your Words are absolutely Beautiful!!
    Read a few of your posts, and All of them just leave me speechless 🙂

  9. Indyeah permalink
    January 14, 2009 6:52 pm

    N:-Thank you for that huge compliment…:)
    I am yet to get over the simplicity and beauty of the one that I read on yours….

  10. Smitha permalink
    January 15, 2009 4:29 am

    Juat loved, loved your post!! It was absolutely brilliant – Now off to read you other posts!

  11. Indyeah permalink
    January 15, 2009 6:56 am

    Smitha:-Thank you so,so,so much…..:)hope you like a few……:)

  12. Usha Pisharody permalink
    January 16, 2009 6:20 am

    Yes to all of this and more..!

    It’s the innate empathy that we dare wear on our sleeves, proudly too, that makes women so special…
    And that is just one of the many many things, almost all of which are here, finely absolutely finely articulated!

    Way to go girl!!!

  13. Indyeah permalink
    January 16, 2009 9:58 am

    Usha Pisharody:-Thank you so ,so much…:)Yes, empathy’s our biggest strength of all…If only the world would learn a little more fo it….:)

  14. Poonam J permalink
    February 25, 2009 8:48 pm

    Came to your blog from my Husbands, and am so glad I did……loved everything u said about being a woman.I personally believe that nobody objects to a woman being career oriented, A CEO or whatever, as long as she is goodlooking, charming, good tempered, unaggressive, and yes agood wife, loving mother and above all a responsible, dutiful daughter-in-law.Sadly most of these expectations come from another woman too…..I read this the other day” Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men’..and i laughed to myself.I love being my own woman, and more so after reading all that u have stated so aptly…Lovely Post indeed

  15. Indyeah permalink
    February 26, 2009 6:15 am

    Poonam J:-Thank you so much for all the words given ,nay.. gifted here so generously..:)

    let me thank you for leading me to your blog because I read a gem of a post there:)
    so thank you for showing me how a woman can discover herself anew:))
    ((hugs))

  16. verbivorehere permalink
    March 9, 2009 11:41 pm

    wow…should say loved the post 🙂

  17. Indyeah permalink
    March 10, 2009 2:11 am

    verbivorehere:-thank you so much:))I loved your words and your name like I told you earlier:)
    what a name:))

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