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August 16, 2010

Listen for my footfall in your heart.
I am not gone but merely walk within you.”
~Nicholas Evans

How does one get the courage to get up in the morning?To breathe without painstaking effort? How does one get rid of the heavy ache in one’s heart? How does one not get bitter? These months have brought heartache. Nothing but heartache.

Two loved ones gone from our life forever.

A lady who was strong and compassionate.A gentle soul..loved by all who knew her. And a bubbly ,chirpy girl even at the age of 56. The trio of sisters would sit in a corner and gossip like mad. She has left a void, a huge one….one that we are still coping with.

We were still trying to take wobbly steps when our lil baby left us too. Just like that.

Some day I will write tomes about her. Nothing less than that would do her justice. But for now only this. A lifetime of memories lived and shared in 11 years.

16 Nov 1999 – 11 Aug 2010

“Not the least hard thing to bear when
they go from us, these quiet friends,
is that they carry away with them so
many years of our lives.

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears, but laugh
And talk of me as if I were beside you. I loved
You so—‘twas heaven here with you.

What we have once enjoyed
we can never lose;
All that we love deeply,
becomes a part of us.
-Helen Keller


Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Celebrate their life. We are learning how to.
For, ‘they’ wouldn’t have it any other way. To think of them and not smile? No. Not at all. For, that would be regret. And how can I regret the lil bundle of joy I came home with almost eleven years ago ? She slept for the last time in my arms too.

Ash. Because of her beautiful ash grey eyes when she was a pup.Slowly they turned into melting brown ones. Years in exchange for years. Memories in exchange for memories. Love…. boundless love for us..her family..her mom, dad , both her bhaiyyas and her didi.

The imp is probably up there somewhere chasing rabbits and sniffing trees. And probably wagging her tail like crazy and getting ready to jump madly on some unsuspecting stranger.

But she has a huge responsibility. The most important one. You see,she has a lil girl to take care of. And a strong ,loving woman to give company to.The trio is happy.I am sure of it.

16 Nov 1999 – 11 Aug 2010

Mad chaser of lizards, bees,birds and balls (and anything that moved)
listener par excellence (unless there was egg for dinner), touch therapist, chronic worrier(about whether the lizard would finally come down the wall), mom’s favorite child…the one she called ‘nanhi’ ,elder bhaiyya’s jaan and his guinea pig(translated as -a lil soldier to be trained) ,younger bhaiyya’s playmate…didi’s constant companion,the one who could get dad to scold us, topped her class in mischief making, flunked all obedience tests, suffered from selective hearing( when she ‘felt’ like it) , giver of delightful sloppy kisses, dreamer who chased rabbits, barked as simply a courtesy, once a week was enough she thought, looked at barking as a nuisance, sniffer of all things weird, blessed with unending curiosity, hater of baths, lover of massages, devious lil planner,blessed with the biggest heart ever, plotter of mischief, eyes that sparkled with glee whenever she tripped her lil bro,a tail that swiped things right off the table when she wagged it in joy, the crazy soul who tried to climb onto our laps under the mistaken impression that she was still a pup at 10, eyes that saw into your soul,baby of the house, stealer of our hearts..

Rest in peace little one.

24 Comments leave one →
  1. August 16, 2010 11:09 am

    Extremely sorry to hear of your loss Indy… I have no words that can do justice…

    (((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) dear Indy, and lots of love.
    me- (((hugs))dear one

  2. August 16, 2010 12:08 pm

    It had been a sad week.. Hope smiles return soon..
    me-((hugs)) amen.

  3. August 16, 2010 12:24 pm

    I read this post of yours with equal happiness and sorrow, Indyeah! It was as if I was reading about our Andy, who was with us for 11 years. We talk about him even now…he is going to be in our memories forever.

    I can see the love in her eyes. They are very emotional. She must have been like a member in your house.

    I loved the way you described her…how she was after the bees, lizrds, balls…I can imagine how it was.

    Lovely photos and I am forwarding this to my sons who were crazy about their Andy. God bless her soul!
    me- Sandhya…you cannot begin to imagine the joy with which I read these words…they heal you know…as if there is another being who understands….sometimes many react with so what it was just a pet… it breaks my heart….
    she was our family member..she was the youngest daughter…she was loony, she was wise..she was a thorough baby..
    all the words here by everyone have comforted so many ways.

    I think between Ushus’s Ammini and your Andy, Ash has company galore:)
    (((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))much love
    thank you for this gift of understanding

  4. August 16, 2010 12:54 pm

    Love the photograph of Ash dreaming, keeping her head under the pillow!
    me-thats my fav one of her too..she would move her paws in her sleep as if she was chasing a rabbit in her dreams….stop and then give a little woof…and start again..all in her sleep:)

  5. August 16, 2010 1:33 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss 😦

  6. August 16, 2010 2:17 pm

    1999 – thats when my snowy was born too. There is a worry as they grow older ! 😦

    Sorry for your loss !
    me- May your Snowy have a long, long healthy life Vimmuuu. Amen

  7. August 16, 2010 3:14 pm

    RIP Ash
    me- ((hugs)))

  8. August 16, 2010 5:16 pm

    Hugs Indy ..I am so numb right now .. just want to say A life well lived remains fragrant forever .. love you. take care sweetheart
    me- A life well lived remains fragrant forever
    oh how she lived! makes me smile just thinking about it!:)
    thank you for this Tiku

  9. Indy permalink
    August 16, 2010 5:44 pm

    I am so sorry for both your losses Abhi! So saddened to hear of all the pain around! Here too it’s been so many bad news from my hometown and people we know back home suddenly passing ! Then IHM’s loss and oh this is hard! Abhi I am sure Ash was a great companion that you will have wonderful memories of-I hope they will give you a sense of love and strength when you think of them! 🙂 HUGS!!!!!!
    me- It seems that way to me too Fathy. Suddenly there is so much heartache all around. It is amazing when one thinks how much pain the human heart can bear. I am praying for IHM’s daughter too. May her soul rest in peace.((((((((hugs))))))))

  10. August 16, 2010 7:13 pm

    God Bless Nanhi….RIP!!!
    me- Amen

  11. August 16, 2010 7:40 pm

    Dearest Meggie

    My eyes are filled, as my heart is, for the love of this darling “Nanhi”! She is frolicking up there, in pets paradise, and not just there, in Paradise itself.

    I’m so very very sorry to hear of this, but my dearest Indygurl, you know how it is. Sometimes, it’s the hardest thing, but one lets go, and lets them live out their precious lives elsewhere in this vast universe, knowing fully that it is us, that is finally the recipient of joys and blessings unbounded, simply for having had the joy of their company.

    ((((Hugs)))) I know. And I know too, that my Ammini, is up there, and they’re having a gala time!
    me- ((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))Ushus your words heal a lil something inside…just as Sandhya’s did too. Yes Ushus..our lives are so much the richer because she came into ways we cannot even begin to imagine still
    Ammini, Ash and Andy …The trio of A’s is happy I suppose:) though I am warning you..the little devil knows how to snitch food and when confronted looks up at the ceiling in innocence:)
    …love you Ushus ….

  12. August 16, 2010 10:19 pm

    awwwww RIP

    such a sweetheart
    me- She is isnt she?:) Amen.

  13. August 16, 2010 11:29 pm

    hey indy,

    😦 sorry for the loss……… I still remember one post of mine where we had a discussion about ash……………
    me- I remembered it just when you mentioned it OG. These little beings are god’s way of reminding us of the uniqueness of life I have always believed. The simple pleasures that we forget..These angels remind us of those.

  14. August 16, 2010 11:36 pm

    A dog named ‘Ash’?? 🙂 Lol… Interesting alright. In this case, its a compliment to share that name with her… She’s adorable…

    Losing a pet can be traumatic. My li’l devil is going to turn 14 soon. We know the inevitable is around the corner….but imagining losing him is even worse.
    The best I can say is….celebrate her life and your memories with her instead of regretting her death. She’ll always live in your hearts…
    me- That made me laugh:)thanks Ash
    Ash is up there somewhere cocking her head as only she could do..wondering who this other Ash is 🙂

    (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I wish your little darling many more years of health.

    • August 16, 2010 11:37 pm

      Now why did my name not come in fully the last time round? Whatever…. 🙄
      me- Thanks darling. That laugh was so needed:)((((((((hugs)))))))))

  15. August 17, 2010 3:33 am

    Huggs to you and the way you have described about Ash, I swear for the first time my fear for 4 legged creatures didn’t creep up inside me.

    I am sure Ash will keep our little angel all happy up there.
    me- That was so touching Sakshi.. Thanks (((((((hugs)))))I have friends who are scared of four legged creatures . And yet they are mourning her loss too. All who met her fell a lil in love . Angel and Ash must have become buddies by now:)

  16. August 17, 2010 11:44 am

    😦 So sorry to hear.

    I bet she lived the most loved, happiest life and she is happy wherever she is… chasing rabbits/ lizards 🙂
    me- She is chasing something or the other…the little imp could never stay quiet for long…..I am sure of it(((((((((hugs)))))))))

  17. August 17, 2010 1:40 pm

    😦 huggs indy
    me- (hugs)Ani

  18. August 17, 2010 6:03 pm

    She is so cute and innocent grandma.. it was big loss.. but surely she will be caring for you all from heaven like she cared all through her life..

    hugs a lot…
    me- Yes Kanagu that’s what we believe too.That she is our guardian angel. Thank you for these touching words


  19. August 17, 2010 10:39 pm

    (((hugs))) di…

  20. August 18, 2010 3:08 pm

    I am so sorry to read this 😦 ((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

  21. August 19, 2010 10:33 am

    May her soul rest in peace.
    me- Amen

  22. September 7, 2010 9:29 pm


    So sorry to read about Ash. Hugs and loads of it. Will mail you in a bit.
    me- ((((hugs))))
    you are back.. made me smile:)


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