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Firsts..

February 2, 2019

“Who is your most favourite ,mom?” It’s a question asked often.

 

And deflected expertly even more often.

 

 

And so never quite getting a clear answer, you grow up believing that parents and specially moms love all their kids in equal measure.

 

Or you grow up believing that your parents love you more than your siblings.

Convinced strongly that you definitely are their favourite. Or vice versa .

 

 

Well, I can tell you now that all of it was a lie.

 

That those deflections meant something else entirely.

That unless you were the firstborn, you were just a tad lower on the scale of parental love.

And even though my secondborn is just a lil baby of barely a month.

And even though I already love him to bits.

Even though he melts my heart with his gurgles and coos and his sudden smiles, it’s actually his elder brother who has all of my heart.

He is the one I ache to hold in my arms for a quiet one on one time.

He is the one I fear is growing apart from me even though my heart knows those fears are silly.

Each time he runs to me to hide in my arms he proves how unfounded my fears are. How silly the guilt of not being able to spend time with him. Just him and me.

 

Because you see, he is my first born.

He has the biggest piece of my heart.

And always will.

Because all of his firsts have been my firsts too.

His first smile.

His first glimpse.

The way he cried.

The feeling of holding a little baby in my arms.

His first gurgle.

His first walk.

His first everything.

They lied.

Firstborns are your whole world and then some.

And always will be.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. February 3, 2019 1:23 am

    Oh Abby….this feeling I always have and i don’t care if I am termed as partial to my kids. Yes I am partial… it doesn’t mean that I love both kids on a different scale.
    1st is always 1st…1st child teaches us so many things…1st child is the first one in the entire world who calls you amma…you grow with them..everything with the first child is first…
    When I was young I always used to feel that my mom is partial to me…but after I had two kids I realized she is not…for my mom it’s her 1st daughter,her 1st love…
    The hug from the 1st born gives so much solace to your heart…

  2. February 3, 2019 1:24 am

    Oh Abby….this feeling I always have and i don’t care if I am termed as partial to my kids. Yes I am partial… it doesn’t mean that I love both kids on a different scale.
    1st is always 1st…1st child teaches us so many things…1st child is the first one in the entire world who calls you amma…you grow with them..everything with the first child is first…
    When I was young I always used to feel that my mom is partial to me…but after I had two kids I realized she is not…for my mom it’s her 1st daughter,her 1st love…
    The hug by the first born gives so much solace to my heart!!

  3. February 3, 2019 1:58 am

    Being the second born and then having two of my own, I completely get this 😁😉
    Hugs Meggie!

  4. February 3, 2019 4:10 pm

    What courage it requires to admit to this
    That our First-born children always give us more bliss
    Is it unfair?
    Is that a dare?
    I think not — this fact that is, let’s not diss!

  5. February 3, 2019 5:37 pm

    Am a first born and I know the privileges😉
    Big hugs dearest…I think that us how it has to be. The first teaches you everything a mom should know which you can easily use on the second…you see! So hugsy mommy…I too have my specials and for me its my little one❤

    • February 3, 2019 5:38 pm

      And just keep it going…the flow of words…ok?😄😍

  6. March 14, 2019 12:15 pm

    congrats indyeah! came here after a long long time and pleasantly surprised! Wish you, your family and the 2 young ones the very best in life!

    -OG (dont know if you remember me)

    • March 15, 2019 9:41 pm

      Ofcourse I remember you OG Appoopan! 😂*eyeball*

      I thought you had retired from civilization! 😛
      How goes life?
      Watchya doing?
      Where you been?

  7. March 15, 2019 9:44 pm

    I meant *eye roll* 😂

  8. April 3, 2019 9:13 pm

    Hello Indyeah. Coming here after a 7 years I think. Now, even I have a first born and I love him to bits. Will have to wait for a second child to test your theory. 😀

    How have you been?

    • June 18, 2019 4:23 pm

      Extremely sorry for such late reply. It is such a joy to see you here.

      Welcome back. And congratulations!!
      How tine flies! It seems like just yesterday that all of us were bloghopping and pondering over life😁

      I have been good. This motherhood thing is no cakewalk🙄

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